How does it feel to always be competing with yourself? To always need to be on top? Recently I experienced many things going wrong, in small ways like dinner not turning out right or not getting the grade I wanted on a paper. Those small matters became big. I didn’t allow myself to make a mistake. I didn’t allow myself to see small things as no big deal. I know first hand what it’s like to contemplate decisions, to not be free because you’re afraid of the outcome. I know what it’s like to over think, to question and to be fearful of moving .
Today it ends. I refuse to continue this behavior. I am beautifully flawed and so are you. I will choose to take the left over pieces and make a new painting. I will keep my heart open to new experiences. I will try. I will fall. I will get back up and I will keep those imperfect memories handy, to remind me of the beauty that came out of it.