No Not Yet: My Journey as a Woman

Women face a lot of pressure naturally. We face pressure from society but also from each other. We have pressure to be married, to be moms, professionals and not to mention models. Lol. I want to share my perspective on my own personal experiences hoping to encourage another queen to let it roll off her back.

Are you married? Do you have kids? The number one question I’m asked by other women primarily. The pressure is on as many women my age are already there even though I’m still in my twenties. When I say no, the assumption is that I don’t want any. The answer to that is yes I do. I want to be a mom. Why does something have to be wrong ? Why does it have to be that I must not want any?

What’s wrong with no, not yet? I went to the doctors office this year for an annual check up and a nurse asked me the same question I get all the time at work. Do you have kids? Do you want them ? The way in which I was asked implied that I was too old not to have any kids yet or I must not be interested. She continued to pry into my personal life until I felt uncomfortable. I felt so offended and I felt that I shouldn’t have to defend myself. I know she most likely sees countless young black women with children who aren’t married come through those doors, but why does it have to be a stereotype? Furthermore, Why does it have to be a negative thing to want to wait?

My answer is still no, not yet. I don’t want to be a single mom. I want my child to have both parents together, financially secure, emotionally and spiritually ready to nurture the blessings and challenges a child can bring. I want to be married with a husband, I want to be settled into my career. Yes I’m dating, yes I’m figuring it out but I was raised to respect myself and make wise choices. Shouldn’t that be celebrated ?

Why am I on a time clock ? Women are waiting later in life to make these life changing choices and I applaud them. Let’s stop criticizing one another. Let’s stop telling another woman she’s less of a woman or something is wrong if she’s not married and doesn’t have children. The truth is there is something very right about us. We are wise.

I appreciate the wisdom God has given me. I encourage women to love each other and be sensitive to another woman’s story. We are all beautiful and purposed no matter where we are on the journey. You don’t know the journey she is on. So when she says no, not yet let there be a period and not a question mark attached to it. We are allowed to be complete, to feel blessed as is.


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